Learning to identify your wants is a crucial skill. Start by asking yourself what you want for yourself on a daily basis. Notice how your mind may tend to phrase your request in the negative ie. "what I want is for YXZ to stop". Reframe your wants by stating them in the positive ie. "I want to start doing ABC".
Make a list of small wants that are easy to make happen. As you become more confident in making your wants happen, raise the bar.
When you meet other people's needs and wants, make sure you leave room for your wants to still be met.